Journal Entry ~ 03/08/18

But the LORD said to David my father, 'Whereas it was in your heart to build a house for my name, you did well that it was in your heart. - 2 Chronicles 6

How many times have we desired something that appears to be God honoring on the surface, but God says no. Our desires may be for a marriage with God at the center, or it may be for children who seek after God, I may be that you desire to help the poor, but financially cannot manage any more than you already give, or you have a dream to serve God in another country but it’s just not happening. God knows your heart. He sees your desire, and He counts it toward you as an accomplishment. If you want the right thing for the right reasons, God credits it toward you as a righteous desire. 

Knowing this brings me comfort, but if I’m being honest, it’s still a struggle to fall under God’s plan at times. I still want what I want when I want it. Understanding that God says no when it’s a God honoring request is hard.

Many years ago, my husband and I owned a Christian bookstore. We just loved that store and everything in it, most especially the people. It was our mission field. We loved the opportunities that God brought us through that store to bring comfort and wisdom to people through the Word of God. We saw ourselves growing old in the store and handing it down to our children. It was where we planned to end our days. The store was struggle financially, so we prayed fervently for God to move in the ways only He could move to make it work. Surely, He would save the store because He knew our hearts wanted to glorify Him through the store. But He didn’t. Sometimes God says no when it’s a God honoring request. 

His ‘no’ didn’t make any sense to me at the time and our hearts were broken as we had to make the decision to close the store. We bowed our hearts in acceptance of His decision, and waited for His guidance in the next steps of our lives. Almost 15 years later, it’s easy to see why He chose to close the store. He clearly had a different plan for our lives than we did. I wouldn’t have become a teacher, which I know now is the true calling for my life. He has revealed many reasons why the bookstore was not the plan for our lives over the years, but at the time - it tested my faith as I wrestled with the reasons why He would do such a thing. 

Sometimes, it takes time to understand His no, though sometimes we may never fully understand why He has us in the position He has us in. Our job is to simply accept that this is where He has us, and we trust that His plan - though it makes no sense to us - is ultimately for our good. 

Press on ~ you are loved 💗


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