Walking in the Word with Breast Cancer

And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, "My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will." - Matthew 26:39 Submitting to His will when we so clearly see a way out of a problem can be so challenging. Sitting in the same trial over and over again, for such a long time can seem like His will is just plain wrong. It can be heartbreaking to know He could end the pain as we watch our children, our husbands, our marriages, our job, our finances, our relationships, our loneliness all continue to struggle - He could end all the pain with a snap of His fingers, but He's doesn't. There are days when I want to throw my fists in the air and scream, "enough already!!" If it be possible, let this cup pass from me. I don't want it anymore.  But God. I am so thankful that I love a God big enough to handle my frustration and my heartbreak, that He allows me to cry out to Him when I d

And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, "My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will." - Matthew 26:39 I love when I return to a verse I’ve meditated on before...it's always enlightening to read what I've already written, and to think about how He has transformed and grown me since the last time I've been in this passage.  The last time I was here I was struck by the humanity Jesus displayed in the moment, and how I relate to Him here. I don't think there is a more human moment for Jesus than this one. He expresses His full humanity here when he cries out to Our Father in heaven to take the cup away from Him.  When we feel alone and our heart is aching over a trial in front of us that we do not want to endure, we can know that He knows our pain. He knows our hurt and our heartache - we are never alone. We can know He understands.  But he also teaches us in thi

And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, "My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will." - Matthew 26:39 Jesus isn't afraid of the pain that is in front of Him in this moment, or the humiliation or shame that He must endure - though any one of those would cause us to plead out of the trial.  Instead, Jesus is repulsed by the sin He sees in the cup and distraught over the separation He must endure from His Father. He doesn't want to become something as horrific as our sin because God will no longer be able to look at Him.  The thought of being separated from His loving Father is what drives Him to His knees in desperate prayer. So it got me thinking...does our sin cause us to go to the same place when we look at it?  Our sin separates us from God - yes, we are made clean because of our belief in Jesus, but God cannot look upon our sin.  Do we view our sin in the same way as Jesu

23 And Jesus said to him, "'If you can'! All things are possible for one who believes."24 Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, "I believe; help my unbelief!" - Mark 9:23-24 I think we can lose site of the evil of sin. It's easy to get lured into the temptation of sin and minimize it to such a place that we don't even recognize it's our sin. We compare ourselves to others, and think we’re not that bad - at least we don’t steal or murder anyone, or I’m basically a good person, I try to be kind to everyone. Or we justify our sin - God understands what I’m going through, or He wouldn’t want me to tell the truth to her.  But our hearts hide sin, and our minds minimize it. Romans 3:1 tells us: “None is righteous, no, not one” and 3:23 says: “All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” We are all sinners. Every day, we fall short of God’s desire and design for our lives.  Pride and control are sins that can creep

23 And Jesus said to him, "'If you can'! All things are possible for one who believes."24 Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, "I believe; help my unbelief!" - Mark 9:23-24 Sometimes when we're praying for something for a long time, we can grow weary and tired of praying. We can get frustrated and even angry as the disciples did about why God hasn't answered the prayer yet. And we give up, figuring we've prayed enough and it must not be in God's will for anything to change there, so why keep bothering.  Our faith will stagger when we are tired. We need to remember that our timing is not God's timing - just because it's been a long-standing prayer doesn't mean it's not going to get answered. The story of the man who prayed for 52 years for the salvation of his friend is so encouraging to me when I grow weary in my prayers. 52 years of prayers, and then God answered. Until I've prayed 52 years for

23 And Jesus said to him, "'If you can'! All things are possible for one who believes."24 Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, "I believe; help my unbelief!" - Mark 9:23-24 I’m learning this truth all over again - our faith will stagger when we're tired. How true this has been for me lately.  Do you think the disciples were tired and overwhelmed?  I do - I mean they were walking the countryside, spreading the Word, and healing the sick. I wonder how much time they took to truly rest in Him. Then there’s the fact that they’re trying to do things in their own power and they're frustrated and angry that it's not working right. Eventually, they start to yell at each other. Sounds a little familiar....  I think our intentions to work for Him all come from a place of wanting to please Him, but sometimes I think we forget the point of it all. Sometimes serving and loving God gets added as an agenda item to an already overpack

23 And Jesus said to him, "'If you can'! All things are possible for one who believes."24 Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, "I believe; help my unbelief!" - Mark 9:23-24 God is sovereign over all things. The question is do we really believe He has the power to change our lives and our circumstances. We are under constant attack from the enemy and the world, who would have us question His sovereignty at every turn. It is so easy to fall victim to the doubts that scream failure at us, and forget His is sovereign.   The father in this story shows us how to overcome these doubts.  We must humbly fall before Him and confess our unbelief.  The problem often isn't that we don't say this, though - I think many of us have learned to say this from time to time, the problem is that we don't always say it with a truly repentant heart. I know I'm guilty of this - I just want Him to swoop in and remove this uncomfortable

23 And Jesus said to him, "'If you can'! All things are possible for one who believes."24 Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, "I believe; help my unbelief!" - Mark 9:23-24 All things are possible for one who believes. God is completely able. He can do the impossible. He knows the situation that we're in, and He knows the way out. The question is never "Can He?" He is able. He can. The God who created this entire world, from the mountains to the oceans to the stars to you, can do anything. I think sometimes the problem is our minds cannot conceive of the solutions He can, and we live in a world that repeatedly tells us He can’t - all causing us to doubt His ability to do the impossible. Some of look at a situation as impossible because we cannot conceive of a solution, or because we cannot resolve it in our own power, so we limit God’s power to what we know of this world.  But I don’t think this is the greatest s

23 And Jesus said to him, "'If you can'! All things are possible for one who believes."24 Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, "I believe; help my unbelief!" - Mark 9:23-24 IF is a doubt word.  It's occurred to me that my prayers have often sounded like this father's prayer - if you can, God, please take care of this...if it's in your will. IF. Jesus speaks to us doubters with the very next phrase - ALL things are possible for one who believes. Not some. ALL.  Do we really pray as if we believe that?  Or do we tiptoe around what we want, and use the word IF to capture all our doubt and fear?  IF holds on to the contingency that it must not be in God's will if it didn't happen. ALL things are possible, but we must believe all things are possible.  It’s true - we are to pray God's will, but we must be careful in how we use the word IF when we're praying. If it's being used as a word of submission,

23 And Jesus said to him, "'If you can'! All things are possible for one who believes." 24 Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, "I believe; help my unbelief!" - Mark 9:23-24 What an amazing promise Jesus makes to us in this passage - all things are possible for one who believes. Nothing is impossible for God. We may look at a situation as impossible, we may see no way out, but God. He promises the impossible. The problem isn’t the impossible situation, the problem is we don’t believe, so we fail to see the promise. We try to understand the trial through our own limited vision, and when we can’t see an answer, we call the situation impossible. But God. He never sees impossible.  Here’s the reality —> The enemy wants us to quit. It's as simple as that. Any time we feel like giving up, or we feel like we just can't go on, like we want to scream at the heavens, "How much more??  How much longer??", it's the en

But overhearing what they said, Jesus said to the ruler of the synagogue, "Do not fear, only believe." - Mark 5:36 If we want to change our outlook from one of fear to one of belief, we need to shift the way we look at trials in our lives. So often, it is the fear of something happening that consumes us over the actual event. The "what ifs" eat us alive. Our minds are so powerful at conjuring up future scenarios that haven’t even happened, we find ourselves trying to solve tomorrow’s problems on today’s grace, and that can be overwhelming.  The problem is when we’re in a difficult trial, we suffer our suffering more than we suffer through the trial. Our thoughts and fears grow larger the problem itself, and our suffering is magnified. The only way to overcome is to capture our thoughts and change our perspective. Our trials are our trials only as a result of the way we look at them.  If a trial is entering your life, then God ordained and allowed that t

But overhearing what they said, Jesus said to the ruler of the synagogue, "Do not fear, only believe." - Mark 5:36 When we fear, we dishonor God and we give power to whatever holds our fear. We become slaves to the anxious thoughts. Fear distorts our thinking and causes unfaithful behavior. Our only hope in stopping that cycle is to confess and repent of our fears, then believe.  That's an easier word to type than it is to put into action. I have repeated those words to myself as a mantra over the past weeks and months in my current trial. Watching my son slip away under this recent diagnosis is the most difficult trial I have ever faced. I am powerless to change the situation. The specialists offer no hope and have admittedly said there is no treatment that truly offers a cure. Short of a miracle, he will most likely suffer with these symptoms the rest of his life. Having lost about 30 pounds in 2 months, my son is physically and emotionally fading away. He has

But overhearing what they said, Jesus said to the ruler of the synagogue, "Do not fear, only believe." - Mark 5:36 So many of our sins are rooted in fear - pause and think about it.  We lose our temper when we’re trying to get out of the house in the morning and our littles won't move quick enough...what's the root of our anger?  Dig, and you'll find its because we don't want to be late.  Keep digging, and you'll find fear at the bottom - I don't want to be judged by others as a mom who can't handle it all, I don't want my boss to get mad at me. Fear of man is at the root.  We get angry at our teens when they are defiant - trace it to the root and you'll most likely find fear that they won't turn out to be successful, happy adults or you don't want people to judge you based on your adolescent’s behavior.  I could fill pages with examples of how fear is at the root of so many of our sins - we fear loneliness, we fear jud

But overhearing what they said, Jesus said to the ruler of the synagogue, "Do not fear, only believe." - Mark 5:36 To really evaluate the fear in our lives, we must ask ourselves, why are we so afraid?  What are we truly fearful of?   Our initial responses will usually be the situation or the trial that we may be facing...I fear my children may never give their lives to Jesus, I fear my marriage may fail, I fear my health may fail, I fear I may lose my job, I fear I will not be able to pay my bills, I fear I will be alone, I fear people will judge me. We fear the storm will rage harder and longer than we can hold on. We fear the worst in our situation. Fear of a danger stronger than we are is appropriate, right in line with God’s design.  But there is often misplaced priority in our fears. It’s important to dig down underneath those initial answers. If we keep asking ourselves the question, why are we so afraid, we will get to the core of our heart issue.  Who or

But overhearing what they said, Jesus said to the ruler of the synagogue, "Do not fear, only believe." - Mark 5:36 If we pause a moment on fear, we know that all fear is not bad. In fact, God designed fear for a very specific purpose - to protect us in times of danger. The physiological response to fear in our bodies is designed to move us quickly away from danger - when our brain senses fear, it triggers certain responses in our bodies. Some body systems increase in productivity: quickened heartbeat and increased circulation, faster breathing, faster and more focused thinking; while other systems slow or shut down because they are unnecessary in a fear response. This perfect physiological response in our bodies was designed by God to happen without any intentional thought so that we could get ourselves out of a dangerous situation quickly.  And it works. The only problem is the fear response as was designed to be very quick and short-lived - like running away from a

But overhearing what they said, Jesus said to the ruler of the synagogue, "Do not fear, only believe." - Mark 5:36 Imagine how Jarius must have felt in this moment - he had just heard that his daughter died. While I have been blessed to never know the pain of losing a child, I have lost loved ones and can only imagine the devastating pain he must have felt. If ever there is a time to lose faith, it would be in this moment.  Sensing his emotions, Jesus spoke into Jarius' despair and says "do not fear, only believe."  Those words are for us, too. Our emotions take over when our hearts struggle to grasp the trial in front of us. When things don’t go as planned, when our worst fears are realized, our bodies are programmed to an emotional response. While these heightened emotions serve a purpose, they can be dangerous. Emotions aren’t bad in and of themselves - God gave us the ability to feel things deeply. He designed us to love fiercely, to anger righteous

But overhearing what they said, Jesus said to the ruler of the synagogue, "Do not fear, only believe." - Mark 5:36 With the weight of yet another trial upon my family these days, I can feel the battle raging in my heart. It takes intentionality and focus to take my thoughts captive and bring them obedient to Christ in times like this. My heart wants to scream, “Not again!” but I know my God has me here for some reason, and if I’m going to make it through the trial, I need to find my strength in Him. I look to the scriptures to encourage my heart when I’m failing. It can be so easy to get wrapped up in the “what if” fear if I listen to the voices inside my head. What if this never gets better?  What if we cannot find a way to overcome it?  But there is power in the Word of God when it is opened in our laps, so I’m opening it and trusting He will bring me the grace I need to face this most recent trial.  Today, His Word tells me: Do not fear, only believe.  I love

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. - 2 Corinthians 5:17 Big or small, forgiveness begins with a choice. But it often isn’t just a choice in only one moment, it is a continual choice that must be made day after day. We often must make the choice to live out forgiveness every day of our life.  The choice to forgive begins with acknowledging that the lack of forgiveness in our hearts is sin. We must confess and repent of the sin before God if we are to move past the hurt. This step is critical.  Far too many of us skip this when they seek God for help in letting go of a deep hurt from their past, and then are left wondering why we can’t find healing.  Confess the sin of unforgiveness and repent of it before God.  After confession, name the person and the pain before the Lord. Trust that He hears your prayers and He will answer. He will begin healing your heart in that very moment, but I’ve found I need t

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. - 2 Corinthians 5:17 Deeper than the petty offenses we need to let roll off our back, and even deeper than the hurtful offenses we need to roll up to God, are the unspeakable sins committed against us as abuse. These are the incredible injustices that leave us scarred and can define who we are.  Far too many of us have an intimate understanding of the darkness that exists in this broken world, a darkness that is impossible to forgive in our own power.  The kind of forgiveness that releases us from the bondage of the darkness that can shroud our entire lives, can only be found in Him and Him alone. You have to pursue it - you have to be diligent and persistent, but you will find freedom.  When you are the victim of abuse, when someone has sinned against you in an unspeakable way, when you have come up against the darkness of this broken world in a tangible way, it can fee

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. - 2 Corinthians 5:17 As believers, we need to get comfortable in the role of forgiving. We’re bound to be offended living in this world, both intentionally and unintentionally, big offenses and small, and if we’re not to hold on to any of them, we need to learn how to let them go.  When considering offenses, out of 100 of them, we should let about 90 just roll off our back. Let them go as unintentional and not important. I’ve found that the majority of the time, the other person is completely unaware their words or actions even offended. People operate from their own world of experience, and people just don’t view the same thing as offensive. Some people are sarcastic, some are sensitive - I’ve seen great offenses result from the interaction of those those two different personalities.  Perhaps the other person is managing something in their lives that we are completely u

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. - 2 Corinthians 5:17 As followers of Jesus Christ, forgiveness is not optional. It’s just something we are called to do - if God is to forgive our sins, we must forgive those who have offended us.  And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses." - Mark 11:25.  We must consistently be checking our hearts for places we are harboring resentment and bitterness toward another person, and we must bring it before Him. Many of us live under the lie that forgiveness can only happen through an interaction with the person who offended us. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Oftentimes, the other person has no awareness of the hurt they caused you; and if they do, they often don’t care enough to understand the pain they caused. Here is an important truth on forgiveness