I am a believer in Christ, and I have breast cancer. On August 17, 2017, I was diagnosed with an aggressive (HER2+), recurrent (hormone negative) type of Invasive Ductal Carcinoma.
My deepest desire and prayer in this trial is to magnify Christ - to my family, to my friends, to anyone I encounter - because I firmly believe that God has a plan in all things, even our suffering, and that His plan is ultimately for our good.
Journal Entry ~ 08/19/17
25 Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. 26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. - Psalm 73:25-26
The crisis of faith Asaph struggled with here was doubting God's goodness. As you read through the middle verses of this psalm, you see that he questions why the wicked seem to prosper and why the Godly seem to suffer. Asaph was afflicted with suffering while the wicked seemed to be enjoying the good life.His trust in the goodness of God was being challenged to the very core.Was divine goodness real?Could the God of the universe be trusted?Why do the ungodly seem to be enjoying the blessings of life? Does choosing to live a faithful life in loyal devotion to God really matter when those who don’t love God seem to prosper? If we're being totally honest, we've all been in this same place. Why do I have to deal with this, when she gets to have that? Asaph, as a man of God, wrestles with what to do.As a man of God, he cannot share his thoughts with others for fear he may impact other believers.He doesn’t want to betray the community of faithful believers by sharing his feelings that God is not good, so he keeps his frustrations to himself.The problem is when those doubts percolate in the silence of our minds, the descend to our very core.We begin to seek solutions in our own power to no avail. The more we think about it, the more desperate we become. It's a dangerous place to be, but we've all been in that place of spiraling thoughts if we're being honest. It's a constant battle between the flesh and the Spirit, and our flesh will fail standing on its own. But it's a battle you can win if you continually capture your thinking and lean on His strength.
I will tell you I've found that dealing with a cancer diagnosis comes in waves. I can be moving through my day, totally at peace, and then a tidal wave of spiraling thoughts will come crashing down. It doesn't take any effort at all to let my thoughts slip into the abyss, and for the tears to start falling. What takes effort is capturing those thoughts and making them obedient to Christ. It feels like a literal battle in my mind to get up on top of that thinking, but there is peace in the battle if you stand firm. I open scripture, I crank the worship music, I get on my knees and cry out to Him. I find encouragement in others. I won't let the thoughts win, I don't have to. I have Him - I can stand firm on His strength in this battle because I know He's already won the war.
I am a believer in Christ, and I have breast cancer. On August 17, 2017, I was diagnosed with an aggressive (HER2+), recurrent (hormone negative) type of Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. At this point, they have not yet staged my cancer because they are waiting for the biopsy results from a suspicious spot in the second breast. The biopsy is scheduled for September 5th, with a lumpectomy to follow on September 7th. They will formally stage my cancer after they biopsy my lymph nodes, which will be taken during the surgery. It doesn't make any sense to me that I have a cancer diagnosis - I am a fairly healthy woman who runs 2 miles almost every day and eats a gluten-free, primarily paleo diet, with no family history at all. But it makes sense to God, and so here I am. Update ~ They found 4 isolated invasions during the lumpectomy. Due to the nature of my cancer (HER2+ and ER-), the recommended protocol is chemotherapy and radiation. Beginning in October, my chemotherapy regime
Hi friends - This is a bittersweet post. This journal entry will be my last post on this forum. God has been moving in my heart and the heart of my husband, and He has called us to join forces to write a blog together on marriage. I still plan to post daily devotions, but they will be focused on marriage and posted on our new platform. There will also be additional content - our testimonies and stories, as well as my husband’s thoughts on marriage. We don’t know where God plans you take us in this journey, but we are excited, humble servants and willing to go where He leads. I want to take a moment to thank all of you. I am deeply grateful for those of you who have taken this difficult journey with me. God has done some amazing things through this blog, and I will be forever grateful for the way He has used it to grow my heart closer to Him. I would love for each of you to continue to follow my husband and me at our new site: graceinmarriage.com Hope to se
When we launched our new blog we had no idea if anyone would see it or be helped by it, but we knew that the LORD was prompting us to step out in faith and just do it. The response has been amazing and we are looking forward to how God will use this space for His glory. We have learned over many years of service in a variety of ministries, that God does not require human assistance to realize His plans for individuals, churches, nations, or the human race. But the story of the bible is the story of God’s will playing out through the words and actions of the His children. So…we pray, meditate on his Word, and write from the heart about the truths that mold our faith, guide our actions, and inspire our hearts and minds. Please visit the site and subscribe to continue receiving posts. https://graceinmarriage.com/ It is our sincere hope that you are blessed by our work here and welcome your input on how we can make Grace in Marriage even better. Thank you for your support.