Journal Entry ~ 08/20/17

25 Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.  - Psalm 73:25-26


So, how did Asaph fight the dark thoughts?  What did he do?  He entered into the tabernacle with God. He chose to go be with God, he took his struggle to the Lord. And when he did, God revealed the truth to Him. He opened his eyes and gave Asaph a broader perspective of life. He was given a glimpse into the greater plan of God's kingdom - the plan that you and I are part of as well. But he didn't just enter into the tabernacle, he deeply repented of his doubt - he called himself a beast before God. The good news is that we don't have to enter into the tabernacle anymore because He lives inside each one of us. We just need to go before God. But we do need to repent of our doubts if we ever hope to get to a place where we understand what is expressed in our memory verse this week. If we want our relationship with Christ to be one where we truly desire nothing but Him, where we are free from our bondage to negativity or despair, where we really trust Him as our strength, then we need to repent....not just confess, but repent. Go back and look at how Asaph repented before God in this psalm.  He was so humble. And the sin he was repenting for was not one of the "big" ones...it was not murder, it was not adultery, it was not theft or lying....nope, Asaph repented for doubting God's goodness. It was only after He repented that He was able to say the words above. Get on your knees, pour your sins of doubt out before Him, and then let your heart fill with His strength and His love.  It is then that He may give you a glimpse into the purpose for the pain in the trials you face.


It doesn't make any sense to me that I have a diagnosis of breast cancer - I am a pretty healthy person with no family history at all, and I have a lot of people counting on me for their care.  It is easy to doubt God's goodness in this trial.  But each time those doubts arise, I lay them before the Lord and repent of my sin of not trusting Him, and He fills me with the promise that He works all things for good for those who love Him. I know He has a plan and I know it's good. Press on, you are loved 💗

Comments

  1. Thank you for sharing these thoughts. It's much meat to chew on and digest and process in my heart!

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