Journal Entry ~ 08/22/17

25 Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.  - Psalm 73:25-26

To be able to really hold these words in your heart - God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever - you have to expect to go through some struggles.  Before you have the confidence that they are true, you will have to walk through some troubling circumstances. The kind of faith that Asaph speaks of in these verses does not come easy. It's a faith you have to fight for, it doesn't just happen. The people who know and hold these truths in their heart went to battle for the confidence they have in His strength. It was a struggle for Asaph to achieve this confidence.  He struggled through the questioning, the frustrations, and the doubts of his current situation. It is only because of his wrestling with God over his troubling circumstances that he grew in his faith to be able to pen these words. His faith was grown and purified in the struggle - not because God delivered him from his struggle, but because He brought him to a new understanding within the struggle. That is key. His faith grew not because God rescued him, but because He opened Asaph's eyes.

I want the kind of faith that can walk through the fiery trials and stand firm to the testing and refinement, but that means I have to be ready to do battle in the struggle, not necessarily wait for rescue from the struggle. I have to live with that mindset - it's a battle, but it's a battle that can be won, and one that's worth fighting for. While it would be easy for me to pray away the cancer, and even easy for God to remove it, that's not going to grow my faith in the same way it will grow by walking through this with Him. Leaning in and having Him hold my hand, allowing Him to strengthen and comfort me every step of the away, that's how He will grow my faith. I am so thankful that I already know He is faithful. He has already walked through some very difficult circumstances with me, so I have faith enough to know He will be there every step of the way through this. And I not only know He will be with me, I have the confidence to know He will refine me through it. 

Press on ~ you are loved 💗


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