Journal Entry ~ 08/31/17

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. - Romans 8:18

As we were created in His image, our very foundation demands justice, but the justice that our hearts so deeply desire isn't ours to exact.  The reality is we don't have all the facts, we cannot see the whole picture, and we're not even aware of all the people being impacted by our sufferings. He does. He is our judge and jury. Just as a child doesn't always understand the discipline of a parent, we cannot possibly understand all the reasons why He will specifically allow suffering into our lives.  But we do know some things about Him that help us to understand a seemingly pointless, but heartbreaking trial in our lives. God's first priority is the salvation of the lost. He desires that all should come to know Him. He allows suffering to enter our lives for the purpose of saving the lost - by bringing a lost soul to the mat with a difficult trial, or by allowing a saved person walk through suffering as a witness to the lost souls in their lives. His second priority is the sanctification of the saved. He desires that our hearts become as tenderized and beautiful as His heart for His people.  The reality is our bent is on ourselves first.  While we may desire to put others first, our tendency is to always demand our needs first. By allowing us to walk through suffering, we begin to see things from other people's perspectives. We understand the trials of others, and our hearts become softened - we increase in our desire to serve others who have suffered as we have served. 

I know He is using my diagnosis for both of those reasons. I have been blown away by the opportunities I have been given to share the Gospel, and I have had more people step into my life who have lived through breast cancer who understand the struggle. The kindness and the compassion they have shown me have strengthened my heart.  But He is also tenderizing me - He's putting things into perspective and helping me to focus on what's truly important, allowing those things that were once important to me to fall away. He is refining me. 

Press on ~ you are loved 💗

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