Journal Entry ~ 10/01/17

1 Oh give thanks to the LORD, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever! 
2 Let the redeemed of the LORD say so, whom he has redeemed from trouble 
3 and gathered in from the lands, from the east and from the west, from the north and from the south.  - Psalm 107:1-3

“Let the redeemed of the Lord say so, whom he has redeemed from trouble”. So we’re learning that we're supposed to speak our thanks to God for His steadfast love *out loud*, but we read that we're supposed to do it when *we have been rescued from trouble*.  The kind of thanksgiving referred to in this psalm, the kind of gratitude that makes us cry out to God for His goodness in the way this psalmist did, it only comes after we have been redeemed from trouble. That means in order to know this level of thanksgiving, we need to be in trouble. Since God wants us in this place of worship, He wants us to know this level of gratitude, He’s going to allow certain things in our lives to get us here. We can’t be rescued from trouble if we’re not in trouble, but we also can’t be moved to a place where we understand the depth of God’s love for us and His rescue for us until we are deep within a problem we can’t solve. We are problem solvers by nature, and if we’re in a problem that *we* can solve, we will never recognize our need for a Savior.  God allows problems into our lives that take us beyond our ability to solve them, so that we cry out to Him for rescue because it is in those moments of deliverance that we truly experience and appreciate His great love for us. For our hearts to truly get to a place of receiving His gift of undeserved favor, we need to be at the end of ourselves. We need to be up to our necks in a problem we can’t solve. He had to get us to that place for our salvation, the hard reality is He needs to take us back there each step of our sanctification. There is still so much of ourselves left in our hearts - He wants to root every last bit of it out. 

My life is a story of these moments of rescue. He has walked with me into some deep and difficult trials to show me His faithfulness and His power to rescue me. Every single one of them I walked into fighting with Him, wrestling against His desire for me to grow, looking for a way to rescue myself; and every single time, He holds me there until I stop fighting and recognize my need for Him to rescue me from my circumstances. He shows up in the most amazing ways to allow me to see His love never gives up, to give me Hope that never fails, and to demonstrate His victory over the enemy. You see, it’s in those moments of rescue that He will allow me to see some part of my heart that I still haven’t submitted to Him, some idol I still have, some prideful sin I’m still hiding....none of which I would see if I had not been held down for a little while. I surrender, and His love washes over me, His strength and His comfort overwhelm me, and His peace overtakes me. He rescues me. We’re all so busy in this world running around creating and fixing our problems, we don’t stop long enough to see what He’s trying to show us...so He will hold us in our troubles until we can see.  

I am so deeply thankful for these stories in my life, my heart is filled with gratitude toward my King in this trial because I personally know His faithfulness and His rescue. I can face this cancer diagnosis because I am intimately aware of His grace and His rescue from trouble in my life. We only know that grace when we have been personally rescued. While listening to others tell their stories can be very encouraging, and an important part of growing our faith, we only truly know the rescue when we have experienced it. I know my God well enough to know He has something beautiful on the other side of this diagnosis for me and for the people who are walking this path with me because He has demonstrated that over and over to me. That confidence brings me such peace and such hope as I take another step. It doesn’t mean I’m not afraid as I walk into chemo treatments this week, but it does mean I am confident His plan for me in this is for good. 

Press on ~ you are loved ðŸ’—

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Medical Update ~ 09/27/17

Image
Today was a challenging day.  I met with the oncologist to discuss chemo as part of my treatment plan.  The oncologist explained there were 3 additional invasions discovered during surgery, so there were actually 4 isolated invasions in the breast tissue.  To review - my diagnosis is Ductal Carcinoma in situ (DCIS) with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma.  All 4 of the invasions are HER2+ (aggressive) and hormone negative (recurrent).  My oncologist walked us through the National Comprehensive Cancer Network (NCCM) guidelines for treatment of this type of aggressive, recurrent cancer - chemo and radiation. The good news is God had already moved the mountain in my heart opposing chemo, and rested me in a place of acceptance.  While my initial prayers focused on not having to have chemo as part of my treatment, after hearing I had multiple invasions, He moved me to a place of understanding that chemo is a necessary part of my treatment.  If there were 4 invasions in the sample they took, there co
Read more

My Journey Begins...

I am a believer in Christ, and I have breast cancer.     On August 17, 2017, I was diagnosed with an aggressive (HER2+), recurrent (hormone negative) type of Invasive Ductal Carcinoma.  At this point, they have not yet staged my cancer because they are waiting for the biopsy results from a suspicious spot in the second breast. The biopsy is scheduled for September 5th, with a lumpectomy to follow on September 7th.  They will formally stage my cancer after they biopsy my lymph nodes, which will be taken during the surgery.  It doesn't make any sense to me that I have a cancer diagnosis - I am a fairly healthy woman who runs 2 miles almost every day and eats a gluten-free, primarily paleo diet, with no family history at all.  But it makes sense to God, and so here I am. Update ~ They found 4 isolated invasions during the lumpectomy.  Due to the nature of my cancer (HER2+ and ER-), the recommended protocol is chemotherapy and radiation.  Beginning in October, my chemotherapy regime
Read more

Grace in Marriage

When we launched our new blog we had no idea if anyone would see it or be helped by it, but we knew that the LORD was prompting us to step out in faith and just do it. The response has been amazing and we are looking forward to how God will use this space for His glory. We have learned over many years of service in a variety of ministries, that God does not require human assistance to realize His plans for individuals, churches, nations, or the human race. But the story of the bible is the story of God’s will playing out through the words and actions of the His children. So…we pray, meditate on his Word, and write from the heart about the truths that mold our faith, guide our actions, and inspire our hearts and minds. Please visit the site and subscribe to continue receiving posts.  https://graceinmarriage.com/ It is our sincere hope that you are blessed by our work here and welcome your input on how we can make Grace in Marriage even better. Thank you for your support.
Read more