4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
One of the greatest causes of strife in a relationship is the need to be right. Look at every argument between a husband and a wife, between siblings, a parent and child, co-workers, and you will see the need to be right at the root of the argument. Far too often, we insist on our own way and we get upset when we don’t get it.
We all have a specific idea for how we should be treated, how we spend our money or our time, how we make decisions; and we all have experiences from our past that drive those ideas. So long as the people in our lives are behaving within our defined parameters, everything is fine. In fact, we may not even be aware of those parameters until someone steps outside of them. And when that happens, we can get extremely offended or we can feel devalued.
It takes a flexible mindset to be able to see things from another person’s perspective, to consider another persons’s experiences, to lay down what you think is best, but that’s what we’re called to do in love. I’ve found it’s not something I can do in my own power, but only when I tap into the power of the Holy Spirit. When I ask Him to open my eyes to another’s perspective, He always does. Because our hearts are so inherently selfish, we need to be intentional about seeking His help in every relationship.
For the past several years I’ve worked hard to change “I love you” to “I love you before me”. I still have so far to go, but even uttering those words more often have opened my eyes to where I put my needs above others. I want to love others as God calls me to love them, and that means I do not insist on my own way.
Press on ~ you are loved 💗
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