What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? 2 You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. 3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. - James 4:1-3
Being self-righteous means we are more concerned with the sin of others in our lives than we are concerned our own sin. We complain about how other people treat us more than we ponder our own shortcomings. Hear me on this - this is the single greatest reason relationships fail.
Our hearts are so deceitful that it clouds over the way we see ourselves, and blurs the way we see others. We think we know others' hearts as well as God knows them, we judge and assume what they are thinking rather than showing them grace as He shows us grace.
Being in a right relationship with God means we are content with our circumstances. We are able to find rest in Him, and the peace we feel flows into our circumstances and relationships. Don’t be mistaken - it does not mean we are without conflict, but our peace is not contingent upon the situations we are facing. We trust that God is sovereign, and we know that He is at work.
So, when we are struggling to find that peace, we must look to our own hearts - NOT others. James explains that it is the desires within our hearts that cause the conflicts between us - not the outside forces, my friends, the battle is within ourselves. The desire for security, love, respect, good relationships can all battle within us for a seat on the throne of our hearts. We place such importance on those things that they become our idols.
The internal conflict we experience heightens our insecurity, and cause us to take extreme measures in our relationship with others. Now, each of us have these deep desires and conflicts within ourselves, and when we interact with others in relationship, these passions and conflicts at war within ourselves bump into each other. Our expectations are not met when the other person does not place priority on our desires, and the tension grows.
Our passions at war within us tempt us to believe we have the right to control. But that desire to control only leads to destruction and discontent. When we are struggling through difficult circumstances, our desires for peace, good relationships, etc., are not being met. We desire and cannot get what we want, so we seek to destroy or fight with others.
Our passions seek to kill our relationships when we don’t get what we want - we think we are so entitled to what *we* believe is the right way to be treated, that we are willing to end relationships that do not meet our expectations. That is great wickedness, my friends, and those thoughts are rooted in pride of self.
Look into your own heart today, and at your own responsibility for the conflict you are experiencing, and confess how your desires not being met hav contributed to the challenges you experience in your relationships.
Press on, ladies ~ you are loved 💗
Popular posts from this blog
25 Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. 26 My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. - Psalm 73:25-26 What believer would not want to experience the kind deep devotion to God found in these verses? This kind of loyal commitment is the desire of every person of faith....yet it eludes so many of us. If you've been a believer for long, you know there are times it does not come easy. There is a great price involved in reaching the kind of faith found in these verses. This level of commitment is only achieved through fierce struggle. The battle between Spirit and flesh is constant, but it is in the battle that we are strengthened when we choose to lean in and trust God, to turn to Him for our strength in the battle, and to keep our eyes fixed on Him despite what the world throws at us. Asaph wrote these words only after a difficult and confusing crisis of faith. He was tempted to com
I am a believer in Christ, and I have breast cancer. On August 17, 2017, I was diagnosed with an aggressive (HER2+), recurrent (hormone negative) type of Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. At this point, they have not yet staged my cancer because they are waiting for the biopsy results from a suspicious spot in the second breast. The biopsy is scheduled for September 5th, with a lumpectomy to follow on September 7th. They will formally stage my cancer after they biopsy my lymph nodes, which will be taken during the surgery. It doesn't make any sense to me that I have a cancer diagnosis - I am a fairly healthy woman who runs 2 miles almost every day and eats a gluten-free, primarily paleo diet, with no family history at all. But it makes sense to God, and so here I am. Update ~ They found 4 isolated invasions during the lumpectomy. Due to the nature of my cancer (HER2+ and ER-), the recommended protocol is chemotherapy and radiation. Beginning in October, my chemotherapy regime
When we launched our new blog we had no idea if anyone would see it or be helped by it, but we knew that the LORD was prompting us to step out in faith and just do it. The response has been amazing and we are looking forward to how God will use this space for His glory. We have learned over many years of service in a variety of ministries, that God does not require human assistance to realize His plans for individuals, churches, nations, or the human race. But the story of the bible is the story of God’s will playing out through the words and actions of the His children. So…we pray, meditate on his Word, and write from the heart about the truths that mold our faith, guide our actions, and inspire our hearts and minds. Please visit the site and subscribe to continue receiving posts. https://graceinmarriage.com/ It is our sincere hope that you are blessed by our work here and welcome your input on how we can make Grace in Marriage even better. Thank you for your support.