Journal Entry ~ 09/09/18

11 Whenever Moses held up his hand, Israel prevailed, and whenever he lowered his hand, Amalek prevailed.

12 But Moses' hands grew weary, so they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it, while Aaron and Hur held up his hands, one on one side, and the other on the other side. So his hands were steady until the going down of the sun.

13 And Joshua overwhelmed Amalek and his people with the sword. - Exodus 17:11-13

When Moses grew tired of holding his hands up, his brother and brother in law stepped in to help. They put a stone under him so he could sit, and they each held up his arms so that his hands remained raised until the end of the day. What a beautiful image of community - the brothers worked together for a common goal, to support Moses in his time of need.

God calls us to persevere in our battles, but that can be exhausting.  If we try to do it on our own, we will grow weary. God created us to be relational beings who live in community because He knows we need support. When we get weary, were supposed to ask for help. 

The problem is we’re afraid to ask for help. We don’t want to appear as if we’re frail or as if we don’t have it all together. We don’t want people to judge us as weak or inferior. Our culture teaches us to be strong and independent, but the kingdom of God calls us to the complete opposite. He created us to live dependent upon one another, to live in community with one another, to support and encourage one another. 

When I was diagnosed and in treatment, I was blown away at the way God surrounded me with people who stepped up to take care of my family and me. But if I’m being honest, it was extremely uncomfortable for me at first. I’m not someone who typically allows people to help me - I’m way more comfortable in the role of serving or supporting others over being served. It was incredibly humbling to allow people to take care of me, but that’s when I realized the sin hiding in my heart. Initially, I just didn’t want to put people out or make anyone go out of their way to prepare a meal or take care of me. It all seemed unnecessary - I was fine. My intention was to say thank you for the first few meals, but then pull back and take care of the rest on my own. But then God kept knocking the wind out of me, and it kept getting harder to manage on my own. 

When I dug down beneath those feelings of not wanting to allow people to help me, I realized at the root was that didn’t want people to judge me as weak or incapable, I wanted to appear strong enough to keep it together. I also didn’t want to let people into my pain and suffering, I wanted to keep it private. Pride was the sin at the center of my heart. I wanted to remain self-sufficient and strong, and God kept knocking me down until He showed me that I am not strong on my own. 

We need other people to persevere, to hold up our arms when the battle is long and difficult. God sends people to you in your battles to support you. There are people literally assigned to help you in your trials. And in our foolishness and pride, we want to turn down His gifts because we think we’ve got it on our own. We want to turn down gifts from the Creator of the universe because we think we know better. He sees our struggles, and He wants to make it easier, and we say no. What fools we are!  Learning to receive His blessings well goes against everything this broken world teaches us because it forces us to let people in to our trials, and it forces us to admit our own weakness. 

What I found when I submitted my pride to God and allowed His people to come around me and support me was rest. Peace and rest. He promises to provide a way through every trial, and the sweet community I discovered as I laid down my pride and let people serve me was to way through my trial. Receive His gift to you when you are struggling and let others hold your arms up. It’s how we persevere. 

Press on ~ you are loved 💗