Journal Entry ~ 01/12/19
being strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy; - Colossians 1:11
We don't have a lot that God has promised yet, but we do have His Spirit. We know at the moment of salvation, His Spirit comes to dwell within us, and it is that Spirit that gives us the strength and the power, the endurance and the patience, and the joy to face the life we must love here on earth.
So the question begs, if the very same Spirit who raised Jesus from the dead lives inside of me, why do I continue to struggle? At the moment of our conversion, we get all of the spirit. The problem is that the spirit doesn't get all of us - that's why we still struggle with anxiety, anger, fear, despair, loneliness, and all those other heavy emotions even though we are filled with the Spirit. When we find we still struggle with heavy emotions, it should be a huge red flag to look deeper into our heart. Our flesh and our spirit are in constant battle, and when our flesh wins, we feel those defeated feelings. It's as simple as that.
But we don't need to stay there. If we feel that way at any time, we need to capture that thinking and start looking for where our heart is getting in the way of the Spirit’s filling. There are things we do that get in the way of the Holy Spirit filling us, and for us to be filled with the Spirit all of the time, we need to recognize these problems, become cognizant of them in our thinking, and confess them as sins. Then ask God to fill us again - and He will. Those feelings will evaporate.
So where do we look? First and foremost, we need to recognize when we are resisting the Holy Spirit. When we have a conviction to do something, we may resist the conviction. We need to take hold of that resistance and submit to what the Holy Spirit is convicting us to do. We know we should call her, but we don't want to endure the uncomfortable conversation. We know we should go to small group, but we'd rather stay home tonight. We know we should get into the Word, but we'd rather hit that snooze button one more time.
I'm currently struggling with this very thing - the Spirit has been convicting me that I should be doing something, and I'm resisting because it's hard and my flesh doesn't want to do it. So, I'm working on confessing the sin of resistance and asking God to fill me so full of the Spirit that the conviction becomes overwhelming to me and my flesh no longer desires to resist. It's simple - when we resist the Spirit, we forfeit the filling of the Spirit. When we forfeit the Spirit, we forfeit His peace and His joy, and we become filled with all those heavy feelings. Create a clean spirit in me, O God, and fill me again!
Press on ~ you are loved 💗
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