Journal Entry ~ 03/02/19

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. - Jeremiah 29:11

He says “I know” in this verse. What a comfort to know He knows the plans He has for our lives. He knows us, and He already knows the plans He has for us. None of this is a surprise to Him - He has already planned to allow every single moment we experience. Since He knows our hearts, He knows our struggles and He knows how to root them out. He knows our desires and He knows how to bring us joy and peace - the kind that last. 

To be honest, it wasn't always a comfort for me to know that - I have always struggled with control. I tend to be an organized person and a quick thinker - that means I see my way to solutions easily. Of course, I always felt that I had everyone's best interest at heart, and my plans were always for everyone's good - at least from my vantage point they were. 

But the downfall for a thinker like me is that I think my way is the best way. Period. And I found myself exhausted and overwhelmed much of the time because I was so busy running around organizing things and solving problems. 

God had a lot of chastening to do when I first gave my heart to Him. I knew that He loved me, and He knew that my deepest desire was to give Him my whole heart. But, as many of us are at the beginning, I was blind to how my control issues were keeping me from complete surrender. So God's plan for me included several difficult trials for which I had no control. He allowed these extremely challenging situations into my life and I had absolutely no power to change the situation or get myself out of them. 

I've often said "How does God chasten a control freak?  He takes away their control." I was stuck in trials where I simply had wait on Him to work and trust that He would work it out. It was in those difficult days that I learned how to surrender my control and truly find comfort in Him and His plan. I didn't have to have it all figured out. I didn't have to have a plan. What a relief I discovered that was!  

That’s when I found such comfort in the knowing part - He already knows what is going to happen in my trials and in my life. None of this is a surprise, and He already knows how it's going to work out in the end - and it will be for good because that’s what He promises. The reality is I already get a happy ending - I can stop striving for one myself. I began to understand what it meant to completely trust that He had a plan for me and it was good. 

I never realized how stressed or overwhelmed I was trying to manage and control everything in my life until those moments when I completely surrendered all control to Him. I stopped striving to do everything, and began to truly rest in Him. It was one of the most freeing moments of my life. And in all of it, He knew that was the plan for me. He's known all along. He allowed those trials upon trials that were so hard in my life for the sole purpose of exposing to me where I needed to surrender, and when I did, I found freedom from my trials, and His sweet joy and peace replaced my fears. 

Press on ~ you are loved 💗


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