Journal Entry ~ 05/31/19

And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, "My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will." - Matthew 26:39

Submitting to His will when we so clearly see a way out of a problem can be so challenging. Sitting in the same trial over and over again, for such a long time can seem like His will is just plain wrong. It can be heartbreaking to know He could end the pain as we watch our children, our husbands, our marriages, our job, our finances, our relationships, our loneliness all continue to struggle - He could end all the pain with a snap of His fingers, but He's doesn't. There are days when I want to throw my fists in the air and scream, "enough already!!" If it be possible, let this cup pass from me. I don't want it anymore. 

But God. I am so thankful that I love a God big enough to handle my frustration and my heartbreak, that He allows me to cry out to Him when I don't want this anymore. I am so thankful that I love a God who rushes in to comfort me with the supernatural peace that He is in control. He is sovereign over this trial; He knows my pain intimately and in this moment of scripture, He reminds me that He became my pain. 

God has a plan and it's beautiful. His plan is perfect, and He will work all things for good because He knows my heart loves Him. It is only when I open scripture and remind myself of His truths that I can truly surrender and say the words, "not as I will, but as you will."  It is only then that I trust Him. His way is greater than my own, and I know that I know that I know His plan will bring about a greater glory to Him. 

So I press on ~ you are loved 💗


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