17 I will surely bless you, and I will surely multiply your offspring as the stars of heaven and as the sand that is on the seashore. And your offspring shall possess the gate of his enemies,18 and in your offspring shall all the nations of the earth be blessed, because you have obeyed my voice." - Genesis 22:17-18
True surrender only comes after true repentance. True repentance follows true confession. The first step to repentance is figuring out what you have been putting on the throne before Him. What are those things that have been consuming our thoughts, what are those things that we deeply desire. Nothing can get us to compromise our faith like our idols - look to what is causing you to compromise your time with Him or compromise your behavior, what is causing you to justify sin in your life.
We will choose unbelievers as partners because we don't want to be alone, we will choose work over small group or church because we don't want to disappoint our earthly leaders, we will even choose the snooze alarm over our time with Him because we love our own comfort, and we will choose our children over just about anything. Nothing should come before Him, nothing. He deserves your first and your everything - anything short of that is compromise.
So what is getting in the way? Why doesn't He get your first fruits in the morning (quiet time), first fruits of the week (Sunday church), first fruits in community (small group)? Where are you or what are you doing instead of those things? That's where you'll find your idol. And when you find it, get on your knees and confess your sin.
Confess your compromise, confess your fear and the anxiety, confess your desire to take control of the situation, confess your unbelief that He has everything under control. Ask Him to help you see your sin and your compromise the way He sees it. He will. That's where you will find repentance.
It’s not until we are broken over our sin, in tears over the way we have dishonored God, that we will begin to change. It will be painful, but allow your heart to surrender to it...because on the other side of that pain is freedom.
Press on ~ you are loved 💗