For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless toward him. - 2 Chronicles 16:9
When I assert my rights, I forfeit His grace. So when I need His strength, I should look for those places in my life where I am asserting my rights. I think the hardest one for me to give up is the right to be heard and understood. Nothing gets under my skin more than when I have been falsely accused - it happened again yesterday. Somebody thought that I said something, and rather than coming to me and asking, they came at me with an attack. I was blindsided, and immediately rose up in defense. I didn't give them an angry response, but I did defend myself strongly in a conversation that lasted about 20 minutes. I walked away frustrated because in the end, there was no resolution. She walked away thinking I did something I didn't do - the reality is I did the complete opposite of what she thought I did and actually advocated for her in the situation, but she doesn't see that. I've been stewing about it ever since, and in the process, it's turned to anger.
Those of you who know me well know I’ve lived through painful accusations, but you also probably know my reputation is something I struggle to protect. I don’t want people to think poorly of me and my defenses rise when they do. It’s an area of struggle for me that I’ve been working on for quite some time. The sin issue behind it is fear of man, and it’s stems from my tendency to place way too much value on what people think of me. So much value that I sin against my God to set the record straight. Oh, my pride.
It's no accident that God allowed this attack into my life so that I could work on this part of my heart. I don't want people to think poorly of me, so as a response I rise up in defense when my character comes into question. Where is the focus on that scenario? It's on me. Where should my focus have been? On her - and her hurt feelings, not on me and my feelings. I know the truth about what happened and God knows the truth about what happened, why is it so important that I take such a strong stance? Because the focus is on me.
My first and foremost priority when interacting with anybody should be on furthering the kingdom of God. It's not to have everyone think I'm awesome. His kingdom was not furthered in that conversation, I do not have a return to show for it. So humbling. Spending time on my knees this morning to repent of my response and my anger, then praying for His help to reconcile the relationship.
Press on - you are loved 💗
Popular posts from this blog
I am a believer in Christ, and I have breast cancer. On August 17, 2017, I was diagnosed with an aggressive (HER2+), recurrent (hormone negative) type of Invasive Ductal Carcinoma. At this point, they have not yet staged my cancer because they are waiting for the biopsy results from a suspicious spot in the second breast. The biopsy is scheduled for September 5th, with a lumpectomy to follow on September 7th. They will formally stage my cancer after they biopsy my lymph nodes, which will be taken during the surgery. It doesn't make any sense to me that I have a cancer diagnosis - I am a fairly healthy woman who runs 2 miles almost every day and eats a gluten-free, primarily paleo diet, with no family history at all. But it makes sense to God, and so here I am. Update ~ They found 4 isolated invasions during the lumpectomy. Due to the nature of my cancer (HER2+ and ER-), the recommended protocol is chemotherapy and radiation. Beginning in October, my chemotherapy regime
Hi friends - This is a bittersweet post. This journal entry will be my last post on this forum. God has been moving in my heart and the heart of my husband, and He has called us to join forces to write a blog together on marriage. I still plan to post daily devotions, but they will be focused on marriage and posted on our new platform. There will also be additional content - our testimonies and stories, as well as my husband’s thoughts on marriage. We don’t know where God plans you take us in this journey, but we are excited, humble servants and willing to go where He leads. I want to take a moment to thank all of you. I am deeply grateful for those of you who have taken this difficult journey with me. God has done some amazing things through this blog, and I will be forever grateful for the way He has used it to grow my heart closer to Him. I would love for each of you to continue to follow my husband and me at our new site: graceinmarriage.com Hope to se
When we launched our new blog we had no idea if anyone would see it or be helped by it, but we knew that the LORD was prompting us to step out in faith and just do it. The response has been amazing and we are looking forward to how God will use this space for His glory. We have learned over many years of service in a variety of ministries, that God does not require human assistance to realize His plans for individuals, churches, nations, or the human race. But the story of the bible is the story of God’s will playing out through the words and actions of the His children. So…we pray, meditate on his Word, and write from the heart about the truths that mold our faith, guide our actions, and inspire our hearts and minds. Please visit the site and subscribe to continue receiving posts. https://graceinmarriage.com/ It is our sincere hope that you are blessed by our work here and welcome your input on how we can make Grace in Marriage even better. Thank you for your support.